Lindsay Lohan in October 'Elle'

[Click to Enlarge]

Lindsay Lohan is (unflatteringly featured) in a series of photos for the October issue of Elle, supposedly, because she's some sort of go-to girl for style. And conveniently enough, it afforded LiLo the opportunity to pimp a tattered-looking pair of leggings [seen above] from her line-- 6126 (so named because that's Marylin Monroe's birthday).

More than anything, though, I wonder what the heck was Elle thinking with this spread?' (No offense to photographer Stephen Shore.) The funky cropping, in some of the photos, lends a weird catalog vibe. And that aside, Lohan looks pretty effing terrible (exempting maybe the top pic).


This pic [below] was a candidate for the most fug, despite a cute green, wool and silk Oscar de la Renta dress, because when enlarged to scale Lohan, 22, looks like an old, haggard, bleached-out mess.

Also, it looks like her left eye is freaking missing. However, worse still...

Elle had her rock a pair of, the much ridiculed, frumpy Katie Holmes jeans.

The rest of the mess...

Elizabeth Smart Speaks to "People"

Elizabeth Smart, 20, who was abducted from her home in Salt Lake City, Utah in in 2002, has remained relatively mum about her experience. She was found in the company of Brian David Mitchell and Wanda Ileen Barzee, a married couple, nine months later, about 18 miles from her home. Her alleged abductors were indicted on kidnapping charges, but were later determined unfit to stand trial. And that's pretty much all we ever found out about what happened.

Now Smart is on the cover of the latest issue of People, which hits newsstands on Friday. She supposedly decided to share her "Untold Story."Let's hope it's interesting, and People's not just effing with us. Cough cough, celebrity fitness issue, cough.

Remember when Smart talked to CNN's Nancy Grace, 48, in 2006?



"How did you see out of that thing?"

Visit People for more on this new issue.
Image via People.

When Words Get Taken Out of Context

Billy Ray Cyrus went On Air with Ryan Seacrest (KISS-FM radio show) today to talk about his "bizarre life," among other things.

Cyrus said: "I was catching these crawdads [with daughter Noah, 8] and all the sudden this paparazzi lady jumps out with this big bazooka lens and starts snapping away. My little girl Noah looks up and says, 'Is that Annie Leibovitz?'"

Now add the Us Weekly spin.

A semi-funny anecdote turns into an insult.

As much as I love Us, if I hadn't bothered to read the rest of the story I'd have been mislead. Not good.

Update: I guess this is kinda better.

Still, it leads you to believe he's talking about Miley. Just sayin'.

Shame on "Star"

This is the cover of this week's issue of Star magazine.

It would lead you to believe that Angelina Jolie had, well, collapsed.

But lo. It's just a picture of Brad Pitt and U2's The Edge helping her up at the beach.



There just went more of Star's credibility.

I admit Jolie rubs me the wrong way. But I dislike being mislead even more.

P.S. I'm not saying Jolie didn't collapse. I've read she "swooned" and fell. Obvs she didn't in this picture, though.

I saw this on Jezebel.
Images via Cover Awards.

Um, Wow!

I know that "From Meth Addict to Mom" shit is accurate. But wasn't there a better way to phrase that, or leave that for the pages on the inside? Is there a euphemism shortage at People? Poor Stephanie Tanner (Jodie Sweetin, 25).

Today Around the Blogosphere...

Due to that stupid shit she said, actress Sharon Stone, 50, has been banned from the Shanghai International Film Festival, set to take place June 14-22, 2008. [People]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mary-Kate Olsen, 21, still refuses to comment on how she was the first person called after Heath Leger was found dead in his apartment in January. She sat down with Elle for its July issue and said: "I'm not going to comment on that. I won't give you a word about that in the nicest way possible. Let's move on."[People]

Fair enough. But that means I can continue to speculate that she's a druggie with something to hide.



That said, I've yet to read the article in Elle. I'll get back to you about it after my blogosphere posting.

Images via People and Elle.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kelsey Grammer, 53, was released from the hospital on Wednesday after suffering a minor heart attack last weekend. [Us]

See my previous posting for more details.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


More mercenary whoreage. Avril Lavigne, 23, is said to be launching a fragrance line, directed toward her teen fans, in 2009. [People]

Image via Aisha Music.












--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Celebrity reality star and former rehab patient Brigitte Nielson (who also did a stint with Flava Flav) is going to have her face serviced, i.e. she's getting the plastic surgery works.

I kinda think she needs to.

The 45-year-old Danish-born giantess said: “I’m doing a complete overhaul, a basic renovation, facelift, eyelift, facial fat injections with my own fat, liposuction and I need new teeth." [People]

Oh yeah, and she's having it all done on TV (shocker), which means she won't have to pay for it.

"I feel like 30 and I want to look it, too,” Nielson added. Isn't having unrealistic expectations supposed to be a red flag for surgeons? Doesn't that mean it's unethical to operate on her?

Whatevs. We know all that moral talk is BS. Case in point.

Nielson seems like a good sport. I hope she winds up looking better.

"German broadcaster RTL will show three episodes of Turning Something Old Into Something New: Brigitte Nielsen in the Celebrity Beauty Clinic in July." [People]

Image via Moldova.org.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Other Half Gets $15 Million for Baby Pictures

Apparently we live in a world where magazines shell out $15 million for the exclusive rights to effing baby pictures.

Word around the sphere is, People and OK! Magazine are in a bidding war over the first pictures of Brangelina's imminently due twins. Reportedly the bid is up to $15 million, and it could be on the rise.

Whatever the going rate, it'll go to charity. And to that I say, that money would have been better spent as a down payment on a yacht. A nice, new (not to mention big) yacht.

People paid around $4 million for the first pics of Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, 2, back in 2006. And in March, pics of JLo and Skeletor's twins fetched between $5 million-to-$6 million. [DListed] How measly.

I would seriously get knocked-up and pop out a baby to take pictures of for a fraction of that. $100,000? I'm there. I'm eventually going to have kids anyway. Have your people call my people, uh, People.

Image via The Huffington Post.

Angelina Jolie "VF," Says She'll Celebrate Kwanzaa

There's a lot of Angelina Jolie, 32, to take in, in the July issue of Vanity Fair.

To start, she sports a green wig (Why exactly? I'm not sure).

Yeah she still manages to look hot.

And then there's this 5,000+ word article in which, among other things, she says she plans to celebrate Kwanzaa for daughter Zahara, 3, whom she and Brad Pitt, 44, adopted from Ethiopia in 2005.

Jolie says: “[My mother] was Catholic but also a child of the 60s. She stopped going to confession at one point because she was having sex before marriage. To me, she represented what religion should be. She never preached. If things didn’t make sense to her, she never just accepted it. I had Communion, but she never forced me to go to church. Brad got me this great thing for Christmas. It’s a bookshelf that has a book on every religion. That’s how we plan to raise our kids. Teach them about all religions. They can pick one or be a student of all of them. We’ll celebrate Kwanzaa for our girl. We’ll celebrate moon and water festivals for our boys. We’ll take them to temples in certain countries. Also to church.”

Sorry guys there's something about her I kinda don't like. She's so famous and atop a sky-high pedestal. She almost seems inhuman. Don't hate me.


Update: The explanation for the green wig, "Green is the new black, or so they say. The wig was Jolie’s idea."

Nice segue! There's sarcasm in this tone.



Images via Vanity Fair.