Friday, November 21, 2008

Oprah's Favorite Things Episode is Going to Suck This Year

Not Happening!

Blame Wall Street. The best (and maybe the only) annual episode of Oprah is going to suck this year because the economy's in the shithole.

That's right, Oprah's "Favorite Things" episode--to air Nov. 26-- is going budget, according to Us. So instead of stuff like the loungy sailor pants, $800 Samsung camcorders and $3,600 HDTV LG refrigerators she "gave away" in 2007, a rep for the talk show host says--via statement-- Oprah'll be giving away items that "cost next to nothing"!

You'll also hear some great ideas to make your holiday party memorable and affordable," reads the statement. "And, Oprah unveils a special gift that won’t cost you a thing! Find out how to have the thriftiest holidays ever."

Ew! I hate it when people try to say "Christmas isn't about (expensive) presents."

Besides, Oprah's "Favorite Things" episode is just an hour's worth of product placement. Sure O probably likes all the things the sponsors ship to her to give away...yeah I'm not really sure where I was going that.

But Oprah should do her part to help the economy rather than try to help people cope i.e. she should endorse her sponsors' products (now more than ever) to give them a much needed sales boost.

I swear this makes sense (after all, we know what O's endorsements do for the book industry). It might even prevent some people from losing their jobs and becoming homeless.

While we're on the subject, why not wrangle up a bunch of poor people to be in the audience and give them a bunch of crazy cool stuff?!

Alright fine, real talk. I just want to see lots of women cry tears of joy as they scream/hyperventilate while jumping up and down.

Like this...



It starts 30 seconds into the clip and goes on for a looong time.

And you know Oprah's favorite things don't "cost next to nothing." So she's keeping with the real theme this year: LIES!

Update:
As I feared this episode sucked (the part I saw anyway). Oprah spent half the time talking about heartfelt notes and ugly, inexpensive ways to dress up a shoebox. Then she helped one of her chefs cook a turkey. Apparently the secret is frequent basting.

Damn you greedy autocrats. Damn you.

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